No More Mafia

My verdict: 0.5 out of 5

2014 | Drama | 4 parts | 190minutes 21secs | Watch here

You see this trailer and in your head it registers “action movie, guns, badass, def watch”. But I am here to tell you this – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

This movie should have been called The Dying Game because after Patra (Sharon Francis) died, I started to guess who would die next based on their popularity. The synopsis:

This action packed, suspense filled movie tells the story of some armed robbers who are on a bloody mission to acquire the finest things in life. It is a game of survival for them, woe betide anyone who dares to stop them.

There was neither action nor suspense. Action is not just when you carry guns around without a plot. That’s just the paintball Olympics without the paint. Let me you fill you in on this movie, it is about a bunch of criminals who from the very first operation lose a member and mourn. Second operation lose two members and mourn. Third operation lose a member and mourn, fourth lose another member and then quit armed robbery. After that they joined a cult to get money which leads to the deaths of the fifth, sixth, seventh and eight members with their leader Boska (Jim Iyke) finding salvation in Jesus Christ who shields him from dying.

TF?

Who decided to sponsor this movie? I need to give this person a hug for seeing the abyss but choosing to jump in regardless. Sad. Like I stated earlier, this movie was supposed to be called The Dying Game. Once Sharon’s character died, I was like that other girl (Queen Wokoma) is less popular, she’s going to die next and viola, I nailed it. Then I looked at the guys and I was like Zubby next. Boom! Score!

There was a long ass funeral that made zero sense to the plot but hey! Anything to kill time yeah? So, we had Junior Pope, Sly Madu (and his ugly ass toupée), Emmanuel Ehumadu and Jim Iyke left. I was like Junior Pope is the newbie in the midst of veterans. Sayonara kiddo and yep! I won!

I bet you can tell how shitty this movie was and if you couldn’t, I just spelt it out. All you need to do is count 19 words back, once you hit 20 then that is the magic word.

Cast

Jim Iyke as Boska

Emma Ehumadu as Sparrow

Sylvester Madu as Pharaoh

Queen Wokoma as Angel

Sharon Francis as Patra

Junior Pope Odonwodo as Chester

Zubby Michael as Logan

Directed by / Screenplay by

Vincent D. Anionted

Written by / Produced by

Onyeka Okpeze